All I Want
by WitchyVampireGirl
Summary: From afar, Edward had always wanted Bella. Fearful that his feelings would never be returned, he became her friend. Will one simple letter from a little girl change everything and give them everything they've ever wanted?


**A/N: This one shot was part of a wonderful little collaboration over on Facebook called What's in Santa's Sack. It was done to promote fun, love, and excitement for the fandom. Thanks to Twiddler83 for all her hard work on the Sack! She also did some pre-reading on this baby and the ever sweet blueeyedcherry who worked her magic red pen magic! *mwah* to you both!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters.. I do own Amelia and sappy mind. ENJOY!**

The crowd rushed by me as I stood off to the side waiting by the Proactiv Solution kiosk. I was glad to see the obnoxious blond that normally worked there was absent. In her place stood a small man that had the tenacious desire to make every person stop and try his free samples. He had been eyeing me, but I knew the secret was to avoid prolonged eye contact.

I scanned the crowd of passing Christmas shoppers looking for her. I was hungry and she was never this late. A quick glance at my watch showed that she was ten minutes tardy. A soft bump against me had me looking up and ready to tell who ever bumped me to watch where they were going.

Luckily I looked before I spoke.

"Sorry I'm late. Had an irate mother who wanted to return a bib with puke stains on it." Bella rolled her eyes and I just smiled.

"No mention of puke before I consume my lunch," I scowled causing her to laugh; it was nice to see her relaxed. It wasn't a normal state of being for her. Most days she was just this side of stand-offish and reserved. I've been lucky to be on the receiving ends of her rare smiles.

"What's your pick for today?" I asked as we made our way to the food court. Since it was right in the middle of the lunch rush, so getting there was slow going.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw her tap her chin in deep thought. "I think I'll choose Panda Express. I'm in the mood for rice." She rubbed her tummy and my eyes were drawn to a small slice of exposed skin.

I groaned not only at her choice but also at the skin exposure. Bella loved to torture me when it was her turn to pick our lunch destination because she knew I never got full on Chinese. We stood in line and while Bella pondered picking between beef and broccoli or shrimp lo mein, I wondered for the millionth time whether she would ever see as me more than a friend.

I met her almost two years ago when she first started as the store manager of Cutie Pie Clothing. It turned out her friend was the designer and was expanding her stores and Bella was in need of a job. So Bella was tapped as the manager and the store moved in next to the one I worked at, Cullen's Home Creations, which my family owned. She came over in need of register paper. She looked a bit flustered and I offered to help her out.

Over time we developed a lunch routine and now we had lunch at least three times per week. In the beginning I tried hard to get her to go out with me. I was attracted to her from day one. She had shoulder length brown hair, the most striking green eyes, and the poutiest, most kissable lips. Or at least they looked kissable, I'd never gotten close enough to her to actually kiss her. Each time I asked her out, she would turn me down. Each rejection was like a deep blow to my ego. I've never had an issue getting the ladies to say yes before, so Bella was an enigma in that aspect. After a while I just settled on being her friend, as much as I hated it.

With our plastic trays filled with piles of rice, noodles, and fragrant meat, we found a table over by the fireplace that stood in the middle of the food court. For a few minutes we ate in silence, both us rather hungry, and food was more important than conversation. Not that silence with Bella was a bad thing. It was rather comfortable.

"Got any plans for tonight?" asked Bella.

For a moment I got excited that maybe she wanted to go out. But her next words crushed that hope just as fast.

"I heard it was going to snow. Supposed to get over six inches," She pouted at the idea of snow and it was adorable. She wasn't a Minnesota native, and even though she lived here for about three years, she wasn't used to the winters and all the snow. It seemed all the rain in Seattle didn't translate well into snow for her.

"I've got a family thing." My face scrunched up at the idea of my family obligation. It wasn't something that I enjoyed doing, but all of us boys promised to help out and when a Cullen makes a promise we keep it come hell or high water.

"What about you?" I asked.

A slight guarded look crossed her face, but when I blinked it was gone.

"I have a family thing as well." She forked some rice into her mouth and I knew that was the end of our conversation. This time, when the silence descended, it felt as if Bella was miles away.

"How much time do I have left?" I asked my cousin, Tanya, who was standing next to me.

"Ten minutes," she replied. "I'm going to start cleaning up so we can get out of here faster. I checked the weather and it's snowing hard." I nodded and her elf hat jingled as she walked away.

Not only did our family own a store at the Eden Prairie Mall, we also owned the Santa Workshop stand where kids would come to sit on Santa's lap to tell him their deepest Christmas wishes and dreams. This year my two brothers and I agreed to help my dad, who was the one who spent the majority of the time in the scratchy Santa suit.

I glanced at my watch and noticed I had five minutes left when I heard a small voice say, "Excuse me, Santa."

I looked up to see a girl with dark brown wavy hair and bright blue eyes that looked very serious, almost too serious for a person her age.

"Well hello there, young lady. Did you want to come here and tell me what you want for Christmas?"

She bit her lip and nodded. I prayed that she wasn't going to be a puker or a crier as I situated her on my lap.

"What is your name?" I asked.

"Amelia and I'm eleven years old." She paused and regarded me very carefully before she craned her neck toward my ear. I bent down so that she could whisper what she wanted.

"I know you're not the _real _Santa," she stated so matter of fact. My mind whirled with a way to assure that I was real, but she never gave me the chance to say a thing.

"But, you're one of his helpers, right? You get to see and talk to him?"

"Of course I do," I reassured her.

The relief on her face was visible. She squared her shoulders and looked me straight in the eye.

"You need to give this to him." She held up a heavily decorated envelope with Santa written on the front. "He needs to read this as soon as you can give it to him. Can you make sure he reads it?"

I took the letter even though I didn't want to and I gave her my best Santa smile. "I'll give it to him and I will make sure he reads it, Amelia. Do you want to tell me now what you want for Christmas?"

She shook her hair and gave me a slight eye roll. "Everything is in the letter, that's why it's important for you to give this to him. He's gonna need a lot of time for what's in there."

"Okay, I'll give it to him tomorrow, I promise."

That seemed to be all the confirmation that she needed. She smiled, gave me a hug, and smiled brightly as Tanya took our picture. As she skipped away with her candy cane, I couldn't take my eyes off the girl. Maybe it was the weight of the letter tucked into my pocket that gave me a sense of foreboding or maybe it was the thought that something life changing was going to happen, either way, my eyes tracked her as she wound her way through the ropes.

When she reached the end she ran to hug the person who was waiting for her. When they separated, I gasped in surprise. I knew that person she was hugging. My heart lurched as I saw Bella help the girl into her coat before they walked away hand-in-hand.

I trekked up the stairs to my parents' front door, shaking off the snow before I went inside. When the door opened, the warmth rolled out and all tension left me. Familiar smells enveloped me and reminded me of my childhood. I could smell the fire that was sure to be blazing in the hearth and, mom's cooking mixed in with the scent of fresh pine from the large Christmas tree decorating the corner of the living room. I hung my coat in the closet by the door and placed my snowy shoes on the mat before I walked into the room.

My dad was in his favorite arm chair, glasses on, and Sunday paper on his lap. My youngest brother Jasper was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table teaching his younger son Seth how to play chess, while his wife Maria talked to Rose, who was married to my older brother Emmett. I couldn't find Emmett, so I snuck into the kitchen hoping I could speak to my mom quietly and privately. As I entered the kitchen, I spotted her in front of the stove, stirring a pot of what smelled like homemade apple cider.

"Hello, Edward," she said without turning around.

"Hey mom," I replied as I kissed her cheek. "Smells good. Can I have some when it's done?"

"Sure, sweetie." She patted my cheek and went back to focusing on the cider. I took a seat at the kitchen island and pulled out the envelope that hadn't left my mind since I got it two days ago. I hadn't had the heart or courage to open it up and read it. I hoped that mother would take pity on me and offer to take it off my hands.

"It's done. Can you get me a few mugs and I'll pour us both a cup?"

"Sure," I replied and moved to the cabinets to fetch a couple mugs. Mom was pouring the cider as Emmett strolled into the kitchen.

"Ohh, cider, I want one! I want one!" He was hopping from one foot to the other with obvious glee as I got down another cup and mom poured him one. The cinnamon stick was barely in before he snatched it from me.

Of course, like the overly excited child he sometimes acted, he took too big of a gulp and burned his tongue. "Fuck, that's hot," he cursed.

"Emmett, language," chided Mom. I just sat back and watched it all, hoping that Emmett would soon leave and I could finally talk to Mom in private. Too bad fate had other plans. As Emmett was busy screaming that his tongue was on fire he happened to bump the letter off the center island, and when he saw me pick it up, he screamed.

"Eddie got another one!" He snatched it from my hand and went bellowing into the living room waving the letter high above his head. "Eddie boy got another Santa letter!" His loud mocking laughter rang throughout the whole house.

"Emmett, give that back to me you asswipe!," I screamed as I tore after him.

"Fuck off, butt muffin," retorted Em with a middle finger salute.

"Boys, language! Edward what's going on?" Mom entered the living room to find Emmett standing on the couch, letter held high in his raised hand while I tried unsuccessfully to get it away from him.

"Carlisle! Help!" implored my mom.

Of course at that moment, my dad looked up to see Emmett give me a too hard shove just as I jumped up which caused me to fall hard on my back onto the coffee table.

"Boys!" screamed Dad as I whimpered in pain. "Care to tell me what the fuck is going on?"

"Carlisle, watch your mouth!"

The entire room erupted into laughter as I wondered whether I had suffered irreparable kidney damage and prayed to die.

When the laughter finally ceased and I was helped up and made comfortable on the couch, the dreaded letter was plopped into my lap.

"Seems you got another one there, kiddo." I wanted to junk punch Emmett as he sat next to me smirking, but any movement caused pains to shoot down my back. Instead, I did the only thing I could; I ignored Emmett and stared morosely at the letter.

"Emmett, that is enough. I think you've done enough damage." My father pinned him with one of his fatherly looks that caused Emmett to tuck his tail and find solace with Rose, who slapped him upside the head.

"Oww..fu..frick, that hurt, Rosie," he cried.

"Good," was her only reply.

Dad sat next to me and tapped the letter I was starting to resent.

"Want to talk about it? Maybe we can help."

I looked up at him. "I haven't read it yet. This would make the third one I've gotten so far. It's so unfair." I knew I was whining, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

"Why don't you read it, Edward? It could be just a simple letter," soothed Mom in her gentle voice.

She was right. As much as I was dreading opening the letter, I could have been stressing over it for nothing. But I just knew it wasn't an easy letter, it was going to be one of _those _letters. Not only did our family play Santa at the mall, but we also had a family tradition that if you got a letter from a kid, it was your responsibility to try and make the letter come true, if we could.

I had already gotten two letters. One was from a little boy who wanted a train set he saw in the Toys R Us catalog. I was lucky that the mom worked in the mall bookstore and I was able to anonymously give her a gift certificate to the store along with a note to use it to get the train set.

The other one was from a girl who colored a picture for Santa. I had it taped to the fridge at my house. But the letter in my lap was going to be different. I felt it deep in my bones. As these thoughts swirled in my head, my family was sitting around me, staring expectantly at the rather harmless looking letter.

With a deep sigh I opened it up to find a page of spiral notebook paper folded into a neat square. With slow deliberation I unfolded it. I closed my eyes, trying to find the balls to read what it said.

"Read it, Edward," prompted my mom with a soft squeeze to my shoulder.

I opened my eyes and read the letter.

_Dear Santa,_

_My name is Amelia and I'm 11 years old. All I want for Christmas is a new family. My sister, Bella, and me don't have a mom and dad. They are in heaven with God. My sister is now my new mom and I want a new dad. I want a new family. Bella cries at night when she thinks I am a sleep. I think she needs a boyfriend who can also be my new dad. I don't want a doll or clothes, just a new dad. Make it a dad who likes to play baseball, because I want to be the bestest hitter in the world._

_Love,_

_Amelia_

Well fuck me.

"Seriously, Jasper, what am I supposed to do? This is Bella we're talking about! BELLA!" I felt the stares of the other coffee shop patrons, but I brushed them off. I had more important business to focus on.

"Stop shouting, Edward, you're starting to sound a bit hysterical," soothed Jasper.

Out of everyone in my family, it was Jasper that I was the closest to. His easy going nature made him a welcome addition to Emmett's rather overly excitable personality. Whereas Emmett found humor in most situations, Jasper was a patient and a willing ear when I wanted to discuss something serious.

The revelation that Amelia was her sister and not her daughter was an eye popping one. To know that Amelia wanted a guy for her nearly crushed me.

"Maybe you could use this as an opportunity to get close to her. You've always liked her."

"Yeah, but she's always brushed me off. Eventually I got the impression that she didn't like me that way." I shrugged as if to say it was no big deal even though Jasper knew I was lying.

He took a sip of his coffee and regarded me seriously. "Ever think that maybe dating wasn't her priority?"

I nodded. "Yeah." After reading the letter, I was reminded of a family emergency that Bella had about six months after the store opened. All my attempts at asking what was wrong were brushed aside. She took a few months off and when she returned, she was a different person, serious and much more guarded. Now I knew why.

However, I couldn't help but give credence to the little voice that said if she was attracted to me, she would have given me some signals. Instead, she was as cool as a cucumber. She only saw me as a friend. Maybe I wasn't her type. Maybe I would have to find someone that _was _her type.

Just then a brilliant idea sprung into my mind. I would set Bella up and hopefully she would find someone that she was attracted to. Amelia may not get the family she wanted by Christmas, but I would make sure it was on the path of becoming a reality.

"Jasper, I have to go, I've got an idea." I gave him no time to respond. I was out the door in a flash while a list of all my single friends ran through my head.

It was less than a week later when I was able to put my idea into motion. Jasper thought I was nuts when I finally explained it to him and Emmett wanted to be present so he could watch it all crumble at my feet. The support I felt from my family was staggering.

I was waiting for Bella to get her food and trying hard not to look around the food court for the start of Operation Christmas Wishes. When Bella finally arrived with her Potbelly sandwich, we started talking about the holiday season and how it brings the crazies out.

"So, I'm talking to Alice about the snaps on the onesies when this lady starts screaming that a dress she bought made her daughter look fat. I wanted to scream at her that her kid was fat, but it's against company policy." We both laughed and I tried not to notice how beautiful she looked when she smiled.

"How about you, Cullen? What's the latest cray cray story you got."

I was about to launch into it when I heard a voice behind me.

"Edward? Is that you?"

I turned to see my old college friend, James, standing behind me. "James, is that you?" He nodded and we did the manly hand shake and back slap.

"Hey,Bella, this is my friend James Conroy, from college. James this is Bella Swan, she works in the store next to mine."

They shook hands and James gave her a polite smile. "Come sit with us," I offered and moved to make sure he sat next to Bella. We spent the rest of the lunch talking and I tried my hardest to make sure that the two of them were able to talk. I wasn't completely sure, but they appeared to be hitting it off. She smiled a heck of a lot more with him than she ever did with me.

When lunch was over, I walked with James toward the mall entrance and asked him what he thought of Bella.

"She's a nice girl, real sweet. I wish Victoria could have come with me, they would have hit it off."

"Who's Victoria," I asked puzzled.

"My fiancé," he replied, a smile splitting his face from ear to ear. "Maybe the four of us could get together and double date?"

I didn't have the heart to tell him I was hoping he would want to date her. Well the first attempt was a bust, but I wasn't going to give up.

A few days later, when I was leaving for home, I happened to spot Bella and Amelia by the gumball machines. Little Amelia looked to be distraught, and when I got closer I heard Bella trying to calm her down.

"It's stuck Amelia and I can't turn it. Is there another one you want?" She ran her hand down the girls back trying to soothe her.

"No," she pouted, "I wanted the watermelon one."

"Maybe I can help?" I offered. The look on Bella's face was like punch in the gut. She looked alarmed and cornered. Her eyes darted from side to side as if she wanted to flee, and all the while she was trying to keep Amelia behind her.

Part of me was offended. But when I gave it some thought, there had to be a reason that Bella never shared her troubles, and if I knew Bella, it's that she didn't want to trouble anyone. She had a stubborn streak a mile wide and was independent to a fault. Plus, it couldn't be easy to date when living like a single mother. Wanting to make sure Bella knew I was okay with Amelia and was just trying to help, I knelt down front of the little girl.

"Hey, my name is Edward and I know Bella. Who are you?"

"Amelia."

Looking up at Bella I saw that the tension had come down a few levels. "What seems to be the problem?"

As Bella started to make an excuse, Amelia chimed in, her voice loud and drowning out Bella.

"The machine is stuck and it won't give me back my quarter or my gumball. It's that one." She pointed to the watermelon shaped and flavored balls.

"Hmm, let me look." I walked over, jingled the mechanism. When it didn't turn, I looked over at the girls. "Cover me, Bella."

"What? You don't need to do anything."

I leveled a stare at her. "Just cover me, okay?"

She nodded and stood next to me. With one last covert look around I tipped the machine back and felt for the release button. When I found it I held it then asked Bella to turn the knob.

"Keep turning until you get a ball." A few turns later and we heard the ball drop. Amelia opened the door and squealed at the sight of sugary treat.

"Ohh, thank you Edward." She popped the gum in her mouth.

"No problem kiddo. Enjoy your gum."

"You didn't have to do that, Edward." Bella's voice was quiet and still guarded.

I waved her off. "It was no big deal. I'm glad I could help." Before things could get awkward and Bella started to feel as if she needed to explain things, I waved to them both. "I need to go. Have a great night."

The relief on Bella's face told me I made the right choice. I gave her a soft smile. "See ya at lunch, Bella." All she did was nod her head and I walked away.

We didn't have lunch for another four days even though I knew she was working, which meant that she was avoiding me. All I could do was wait for her to work through whatever issues were in her head, and hope that the next time I saw her she would share the story she's kept hidden for the past year.

When we did have lunch, a heavy silence hung over us and Bella did more pushing of her food around than eating it. She looked so miserable sitting across from me, her face scrunched in fear and anxiety. I couldn't sit there and not say something.

"Bella, whatever you're thinking isn't true. I'm not judging you. But I am wondering why you never said anything. I thought we were friends." I let the statement hang in the air. As much as it was a bit direct and cutting, it was honest and true.

"I know," she whispered. When she looked up, tears made her eyes shine. I couldn't resist. I pushed our food trays to the neighboring table and grabbed her hand.

"Tell me, Bella. For once, let me get to be a friend to you."

That was all it took. In a torrent of tears she told me how her parents died in a freak accident on vacation in Arizona. They ended up getting lost and wandered into an area that was prone to steep cliffs and rocks slides, both of which caused their demise. Their grandmother was watching her sister back in Seattle, but when they died, said she couldn't take her permanently. Bella refused to let her go with anyone else. She spent six months with funerals, probate court, and guardianship, all while moving her sister to Minnesota. It was a period of adjustment.

"Why didn't you say something, Bella? I would have been there to help you."

She shook her head. "I guess I felt as if I had to do it all. Prove to the court that I could raise her. Plus, I just never could say the words. I wanted to tell you so many times. But there was never a way to say hey, my parents died and now I'm raising my younger sister."

She slumped in her seat, visibly exhausted and emotionally spent.

"I guess that would be a hard conversation to have. I want you to know, I'm here if you need anything. You're not alone, Bella."

She nodded and smiled before squeezing my hand.

"Thank you."

A few days later Bella was a new woman. She smiled and laughed more, no longer burdened by her secret. She could now talk about Amelia, and I was astounded by the love she had for that girl. She was trying so hard to help her through this difficult phase in her life. I was even more convinced that Amelia needed to have her Christmas wish come true and Bella needed someone to help shoulder the responsibility.

Candidate number two was a good friend of mine that had an excellent job as a computer programmer and was a sweet guy. We arranged for him to "stop by" during lunch one day so he could meet Bella.

"Hey, Edward!"

I turned to see my friend Eric standing behind me. His eyes darted over to Bella constantly. I couldn't blame him, Bella was looking good today. Hell, she looked good most days.

"Eric! It's so nice to see you. Come meet my friend, Bella. Bella this is Eric, a good friend of mine."

She stuck out her hand. "Nice to meet you." She looked over at me. "I can leave you two to catch up."

"NO!" I practically shouted. I cleared my throat. "There's no need. Come, everyone sit."

Eric sat down next to me but across from Bella and for a few moments the silence was awkward. Bella looked uncomfortable and that wasn't a good sign.

I tried to draw out Eric who looked nervous and fidgety. I knew that girls tended to make him anxious, but I thought that Bella's easy going personality would help soothe his frazzled nerves. I attempted to talk about music, but when Bella mentioned liking rock, Eric scrunched up his face and talked about the soothing melodies of Chopin.

The same went for sports, Bella liking them, Eric not seeing the point. Politics were a no go, and I didn't even try to bring up religion. The only they agreed upon was a mutual dislike of the weather. It was slim, but it was a start.

Of course, all hope went out the window the minute Eric started to talk about Star Trek. There was a convention coming up and he was telling us how he wasn't sure who he should dress up as. Bella laughed and Eric took offense. Next thing I knew I was in the middle of a Star Wars versus Star trek battle and I wanted to hide under the table.

When Eric started to mock the use of light sabers, I knew all hope was lost. I extracted a rather heated and furious Bella, who was slinging insults about the Enterprise getting annihilated by the Millennium Falcon before she caused Eric to have a coronary.

To say that didn't go well was an understatement of epic proportions, but I wasn't willing to admit to defeat. I just needed to be a bit more discerning in my choices.

About a week later, I had just gotten done with work and was walking past the theater where I noticed that Bella and Amelia were waiting in line. The moment I walked by, Amelia turned, saw me, and shouted out for me.

"Edward! Over here!" Her small hands were waving in the air. When she saw me looking at her, she smiled and I was drawn to her side.

"Hey Amelia. Going to a movie?"

"Yeah! Bella and I are gonna see Monsters Inc. It's in 3D. Ohhh, you should come watch it with us! Will you? Please?" She threw out the most adorable puppy dog eyes complete with pouty lips and I was helpless to say no.

"Sure, if it's alright with Bella."

In tandem we looked at Bella. Her eyes darted between us, a pucker between them as she tried to determine what answer to give. There was a part of me that felt bad, like I was intruding on her time with Amelia, but a larger part felt pulled to be a part of their orbit.

"Well," drawled Bella as she chewed on her lower lip, "I don't want to intrude on your night, Edward."

"I had no plans," I replied with the trademark Cullen smirk.

She sighed deeply before she acquiesced. "Sure, he can join."

Both Amelia and I high-fived and smothered Bella in a group hug. That turned out to be one of the best nights of my life. Who knew I could have so much fun watching a kids movie? Watching the delight in Amelia's eyes was too much for me to witness. I think I laughed more because she was laughing than due to the movie. After the movie, I took them to get some hot chocolate and cookies. That was another adventure in fun.

Amelia regaled me with stories about her school holiday party and how one boy, Jordan, got dared to stuff mini marshmallows up his nose.

"It was so gross, Edward. When Ms. Vaughn found out, she made him remove them, but the only way to get them out was to sneeze them out and they were going everywhere. I hid under my desk!" She shuddered and we both laughed.

"But then some got stuck and Ms. Vaughn wouldn't let him pick them out. His mom had to come get him and take him to the doctor. Stupid boys."

I nodded with her. "Boys are stupid. You're too good for them." I didn't understand the wave of protectiveness that washed over me. The idea of some boy paying her attention made me want to stalk her at school. But before I could delve deeper into my thoughts, Bella announced they had to get going.

A pout turned down my lips. I wasn't ready to let them go. Bella and I held Amelia's hands as I walked them to their car. I reveled in the hug that Amelia gave me. I didn't want to let her go. I wanted to give Bella a hug as well, but after an awkward pause, we mumbled our goodbyes. As the car pulled away, I rubbed the dull ache that started to throb in my chest.

I was starting to feel the pressure as the days flew by and Christmas drew closer. The weight of Amelia's letter and her single desire for a new dad was with me wherever I went. The letter had found a home in my wallet and I found myself taking out and re-reading it. The simplicity of her one Christmas request was proving to be anything but simple to make come true. My phone was glued to my hand as I scrolled through my contacts looking for the perfect person to fill the role of dad to Amelia.

The more time I spent with her, the more I realized how special she was and she deserved a dad that would respect and cultivate her specialness. But I was running into another issue. At the beginning of my little quest, I was having a hard time narrowing down the possibilities. There were so many guys that I thought would be perfect. But now, as I flicked through my friends, all I saw were reasons why they weren't perfect.

A fleeting thought that maybe I could be the one came and went. I shook my head at such an absurd idea. It wasn't that I had an aversion to being Amelia's dad. The problem was with Bella. She never treated me as anything more than a friend. To try and put myself out there to her, feel the sting of her rejection, and possibly lose her friendship, it wasn't worth it. I'd rather have a small piece of Bella than nothing at all.

With a deeply pained sigh, I continued in my quest and after nearly an hour, I finally landed on a name that had the potential to maybe be the one. With a heavy heart I called him up and we made plans to "run into each other" in a few days. When I threw my phone down after the call, I scrubbed my face and prayed that I had finally found the right person. If this didn't work, I was all out of possibilities and that didn't sit well with me.

The day that Tyler was supposed to find us in the food court dawned bright and sunny. It made the snow gleam, and when I stepped out on my way to the mall, I breathed in the crisp air. I was resolute that today would work. Tyler was single, I checked after the fiasco with James, and he didn't have any particular aversion to Star Trek, which would avoid the disaster I faced with Eric. He was financially stable, as he worked as a graphic designer for a local marketing firm. He was also fine with Amelia being part of the Bella package.

When lunch finally came around, I felt as if I wanted to vomit. I was sure it was just nerves and the pressure of Tyler being my last hope. But when he came into view, I had an irrational urge to intercept him and call it all off. I found that reaction odd as I was more than comfortable a few days ago when we set all this up. I rubbed my suddenly sweaty hands on my pants and tried to keep up with the story Bella was telling me about Amelia.

"It was so funny, Edward. Amelia made snow angels all over the place and when it came time to build the snowman, there was no snow she could use as it was all covered with her snow angels. Man did she pout. It took an extra-large cup of hot chocolate with a ton of mini marshmallows to calm her down."

She chuckled and I found myself staring at the light in her eyes when she talked about Amelia.

"This is the first time she's seen measurable snow, right?"

Bella nodded her head. "Yeah, back home it would melt pretty fast and we got more ice than anything."

I smiled. "Maybe we should take her sledding. I know a pretty awesome hill near the mall."

Bella looked at me oddly and by the time I realized what I had said, Tyler had made his way to the table.

"Hey, Edward! How are you my man?"

I feigned surprise at yet again running into another one of my friends and made quick introductions to Bella.

"Tyler this is Bella, and Bella this is Tyler. We go all the way back to high school."

"Nice to meet you Tyler," she replied and graced him with a beaming smile.

"Likewise," he replied while shaking her hand. He sat down next to Bella and began to engage her in conversation. I sat and watched them, my mood growing darker and darker by the minute, but I kept my pleasant mask in place.

After about ten minutes, Tyler was acting as if I wasn't there, and I was about to quietly excuse myself from the table when Bella started to squirm. My first thought was that she was getting a little turned on by Tyler who was oozing charm everywhere. He was doing everything right, asking about her, complimenting her on her looks and her accomplishments, telling witty tales that got her laughing. But when I watched closely, she appeared to be trying to maneuver herself away from him. She sat back in her chair, no long turned toward him, and she scowled a few times.

I was puzzled and not sure what to make of things. Tyler was smiling and that was always a good sign. Bella started out being amicable and friendly, but she seemed increasingly distressed. I was looking for a way to catch her eye and inquire about her well-being when she shot up in her chair. Her eyes were blazing and her hands were balled into tight little fists.

"You seem unable to take a hint, asswipe. When I push your hands away from my body take that as a sure sign that I don't want you touching me. But if you need a more physical reminder, this may do the trick." Then she cracked him across the face and dumped the remainder of her pop over his head.

When she faced me, her eyes held a myriad of swirling emotions, too numerous for me to name except pain. Which seemed a bit odd to me.

"I'm sorry, Edward. But the next time one of your friends drops by, I'm outtie." She squeezed my shoulder, and then stormed away. I looked over at Tyler who looked befuddled.

"Man, she's one uptight bitch. I thought since she had a kid she'd be a bit more open for a little fun."

My mouth opened and closed several times as I absorbed his rather crude words and thoughts towards Bella. If I wasn't worried about being charged with assault, I would have cold-cocked him. As it was I stood up and glared at him.

"You really are scum, Tyler." With that I walked away to search for Bella to make sure she was fine and to apologize for my rather handsy ex-friend.

A week before Christmas I had to admit defeat. I had failed to fulfill Amelia's one Christmas wish and it sucked ass. It hurt even more after spending a wonderful day with Bella and Amelia a few days earlier. Bella had let it slip that she was going to take Amelia ice skating down in Rice Park, and I asked if she minded if I tagged along. She was a bit taken aback, at first, but then conceded knowing how much Amelia would love it.

When Amelia saw me her eyes went as wide as saucers, my heart thudded painfully in my chest. Her small arms wrapped themselves around my waist and I responded with a hug of my own. I closed my eyes so she wouldn't see the pain of my failure to make her dream come true. Luckily, I didn't have time to dwell on my short-comings, because as soon as my skates were laced up, she was pulling me toward the rink asking me to help her learn how to skate.

I never had so much fun as I did that day. Her hands stayed glued in mine as she walked on wobbly and unsure legs. But with each passing minute, she grew increasingly steady and sure-footed. In no time she was doing a one foot glide. When she completed a full circuit of the rink without falling, it was me she went to in celebration. I swung her up high and took her on a high speed lap around the rink. Her laughter rang out and I never wanted the day to end.

When we could barely feel our toes, we warmed up with steaming cups of cocoa and pretzels dipped in cheese sauce. I stared at her in delight as she excitedly recounted her accomplishments in skating to Bella, who watched her with ever loving eyes. It was almost a picture perfect moment. But all too soon, they had to leave and I fought back the urge to hold them both close to me as they waved goodbye.

I ended up at my parents' house after I left the ice rink and hadn't gone back to my place since. They knew something was up, and I could see it my mother's eyes that she desperately wanted to know what was wrong. She was trying to be patient with me, even if it killed her.

I wasn't completely sure why I went here. Maybe it was because I didn't want to be alone to wallow in my disappointment and guilt? Whatever the reason, I found sleeping in my old bed comforting in a time when I felt chaotic and confused.

One night I couldn't sleep and I found myself sitting in the living room. The lights from the Christmas tree gave off a soft muted glow, and I just got lost in my thoughts. There was an inner war I was battling yet I couldn't make sense of what. My mind whirled with images of Bella and Amelia, which caused the all too familiar ache to settle in my chest.

That was how my mom found me, staring aimlessly into space and rubbing my chest in a futile attempt to make the pain go away. Her soft warm hands rubbed my head in a soothing and comforting fashion as she walked past me on her way over to where I was sitting.

"Edward, I think it's time you let it out." He words held no condemnation or judgment, just the parental desire to ease a child's pain. I looked up to see her looking at me as if she was in pain, and it was all the prodding I needed.

So I let it all out, the letter, my quest to find the perfect person for Amelia, and the failures of all three of my attempts. I expressed how much I'd grown to care for Amelia with every interaction and with every story that Bella told. I even told her how I'd wanted Bella for as long as I'd known her, but how I feared that I'd lose her as a friend.

When I was finished, my heart felt light after finally sharing this burden with someone. When I chanced another glance at my mother's face, her lips were curled in a gentle smile and her eyes were no longer clouded with worry, but bright with hope.

"Ohh, Edward, the answer has always been in front of you!" She clasped my hands in hers and gave a squeeze. "Can't you see it?"

"No!" I yelled, frustrated once more. "If I did, I wouldn't be down here moping and depressed."

She shook her head and gave me a hard look. "You know the answer, Edward. You've just been too afraid to see it, so fearful of all the what-ifs that you can't see the wonderful possibilities. It's okay to take a giant leap without a net. Sure, you may get hurt, but that will fade. But you can't live your life trying to avoid being hurt. Life is too short and love is too precious for you to waste it and toss it aside."

I wanted to argue that I wasn't afraid to jump, I just didn't want to lose what I had. But a finger on my lips forced my open mouth closed.

"For once, Edward, listen to your heart and not your head."

With that she stood up, gave me a hug, and padded her way back to bed while my head spun with dizzying thoughts and emotions. Knowing I would be unable to sort through them, I plodded back up the stairs and crawled into my bed. My last thought before I feel asleep was my wish for the answers to be clearer in the morning.

Since the next morning brought me no more clarity, I just enjoyed every single moment I spent with Bella. I found myself seeking her out when I really didn't need to just to hear her voice. At lunch I would try to be funny, just to see her smile and hear her laugh. I found myself looking at toys and presents that I knew Amelia would like and couldn't help but buy them for her. Bella tried to tell me I was spoiling her and that she didn't need a pair of pink sparkling ice skates. There was no way I could tell her that all the gifts were the only way I knew how to make up for not getting her the one thing she truly desired.

Instead, I gave her my trademark smile and puppy dog eyes and told her how much it would mean to me if I could give them to her. Bella just relented with a smirk of her own and a shake of her head. I gave her a hug to say thanks. The way we fit as we hugged, it made my chest ache once more, and she just felt so right in my arms.

As I made my way to the food court the afternoon of the twenty-third I tried to turn my sour disposition around. I tried to focus on enjoying my last lunch with Bella until the day after Christmas and not so much on my failures.

I waited for Bella in our designated spot and when she failed to show after fifteen minutes, I went ahead without her, like we arranged. I stood in line to get a Potbelly Sandwich, and as I made my way to an empty spot by the fireplace, my eyes caught a familiar profile. When I moved closer to get a better look, my heart plunged to my stomach. Sitting not more than fifty-feet from me was Bella and another guy.

But not any guy. A guy that she smiled at freely, touched in a way too familiar manner, and a guy that touched her back as well. She didn't recoil or brush him away. She didn't shy away from him, and the way they leaned into each other spoke volumes. Anger, sadness, and pain coursed through my frozen body, and it wasn't until I was jostled by a passerby that I finally moved, in the opposite direction of her.

My sandwich ended up in the trash as I kept on walking, right out the door and into the freezing cold.

I wasn't sure how long it was that I walked around in the cold. I didn't even feel it, my entire body numb by shock that Bella had found someone. I knew that I should've been happy for her. Amelia was going to get her wish after all.

Wasn't that what I wanted?

I didn't get to answer that question before my brother, Jasper, pulled up next to me.

"Get into the car, dipshit, before I have to take you to the hospital for hyperthermia."

I got in without even acknowledging him. The unanswered question was too busy rolling around in my head for me to notice anything going on. Luckily for me, the car was blissfully silent as I thawed and feeling at least returned to my body. Too bad my heart was still frozen in some unnamed emotion.

"Care to talk?" he asked gently.

"No," I retorted. "How did you find me?"

"When you didn't come back to the store after lunch, Dad called me to see if I could find you. We kind of figured that something happened in regards to Bella."

The sound of her name made me wince and I hoped he failed to notice.

A heavy silence permeated the car. Wanting to give him the idea that further conversation wasn't wanted, I turned to face the window. Snow fell in soothing swirls before touching down to mix with the thick blanket already present.

"Well, since you don't want to talk, then you can listen." His matter of fact attitude irritated me.

"I'd rather not," I stated, never looking away from the window.

"The good thing about this situation is I can still talk, even if it's in vain. There is always the faint hope that something will stick in that thick skull of yours."

I rolled my eyes at him while mentally giving him the finger.

"I don't know why you were wandering out in the snow like a moron without a proper jacket. Honestly, I don't care. What I do care about is you moping around like a pansy ass fucktard. If she is able to illicit this kind of reaction now, imagine what it would it would be like when you guys are together."

He gave a low whistle. "You two could be explosive."

I couldn't help the snort that escaped me. The only explosion I was expecting was my heart blown up in a million little pieces.

"You may not believe me and that's fine. But think on this. Imagine a life where you don't get to see her, touch her, or talk to her. When she does find someone to spend her life with, and she will because a girl as beautiful as her won't stay single long, she will exit your life. Do you want that happen without at least trying to tell her how you feel? Can you live your life always wondering what-if? It's been my experience that they eat you up."

I tried to keep his words from sticking inside my head, but it was fruitless. I was already headed down that direct line of thinking, and his rhetorical questions made my decent faster. But before I could fling some nasty words meant to deflect his attention elsewhere, the car rolled to a stop.

"Where are we I asked?" Looking out the window and finally taking notice of my surroundings, I saw we were outside my house.

"Get cleaned up, rest, and we will see you tomorrow for Christmas Eve." With that weird dismissal, I exited the car and watched as he pulled away.

That night I was plagued by nightmares, watching Bella fawn and fall in love with nameless, faceless person and I was helpless to do anything. I was trapped in bonds of chains and ropes that grew tighter the more I struggled to break free.

But the worst was when I dreamt of Amelia running up to him and calling him Daddy. The smile on her face made my heart shatter as he scooped her up and smothered her in kisses. He was the one that checked under her bed when she was scared of monsters. He helped her with her homework, and taught her how to throw a baseball.

My heart was racing. Fear, dread, and panic flooded my body as I woke with a start. My body was dripping sweat and I was panting as if I had just run a marathon. If just the idea and self-made up images of Bella with someone else made me feel this panicky, I knew the reality would be unbearable. But there was still this little voice inside my head that still worried about the rejection. The idea of losing her as a friend scared me to no end.

_But if you don't even try, you'll lose her to some other dude who won't love her as much as you do._

The thought came screaming out of left field, but the more I ruminated on it, the lighter my chest felt.

_I loved Bella?_

_I love Bella?_

**I LOVE BELLA!**

It was as if the sun had broken through the clouds and the missing piece fell into place. The complete rightness of those three words settled into my heart and soul. I didn't know how the knowledge escaped me before, but now it was as plain as day.

However, the next hurdle I faced was what I should do about this newest revelation. While to some the answer would seem simple- go tell Bella you loved her. I knew that wasn't going to work. I really needed to spend time thinking everything over. Bella and Amelia deserved the best, and I was bound to give it to them. So I devised a plan and spent the rest of my free time bringing it to fruition. I had no time to let fear and nerves overwhelm me. That was until I had done everything I could and had to wait.

During my family Christmas gathering, I was distracted, I paced when I couldn't sit still, and my eyes were glued to watching the slow movement of the clock. My mind was pre-occupied with thoughts of Bella and Amelia and what they were doing. Maybe they were sitting on her couch as they watched a movie with steaming mugs of hot cocoa. I smiled when I envisioned me sitting with them next year.

"You're so distracted, honey, why not go to Bella's now?" I heard the excitement in my mother's voice. She had a hard time containing her smile when I told her of my revelation.

As much as I wanted to leap into action with her words, I had a plan, a plan to show my love for her and Amelia. When I told my mom exactly that, she laughed at me, then she took both of my hands in hers and peered deep in my eyes.

"Girls don't need grand gestures. All we ever really want is what is in your heart. Go to her, talk to her and the rest will fall into place." The honesty I saw in her eyes was more than enough to convince me to run out the door and the one place where my heart lived.

**Amelia POV**

**2 years later**

I watched as Edward promised to love, cherish, and honor Bella all the days of her life before all our friends and family. I loved that word- family. When I had lost mine, I never thought I would ever get to be a part of one. But one snowy Christmas Eve, Edward changed all that.

When we opened the door to a breathless but excited Edward, both of us were rather confused. But then he spoke. He declared how much he loved Bella, how he wanted to be more than her friend, he wanted her to be his life and love. Tears fell from her eyes as she declared that she had always loved him.

They hugged and when they finally pulled apart, I remember him picking me up and telling me that he loved me as well and if it was alright with me, he was going to marry Bella one day. He then asked me if I wanted him as a dad. I hugged him close and told him I asked Santa for one and I hoped that he would send him. He had tears in his eyes when I spoke.

It wasn't until the next year when I no longer believed in Santa that he showed me the letter I had written and how he realized he also wanted to be my dad. They were engaged that Christmas. A Christmas Eve wedding was planned. It was the only fitting day. But it was the day after Christmas we were looking forward to the most. We had a date in front of Judge Irina Denali, a friend of the Cullen's who was going to finalize Edward's adoption of me. We would ring in the New Year as Cullen's and there was nothing that I wanted more.

As the reception swirled around me I kept my eyes glued to Bella and Edward. They looked so in love and I couldn't be happier for them both. Around us were mostly Cullens', and it was still amazing how they welcomed us into the family. I counted myself blessed from going to just the two of us to an entire family to love us.

My musings were interrupted by Edward standing by me, clanging his fork on his glass to get everyone's attention.

"On behalf of Bella, Amelia, and myself, thank you for coming. It means so much that you could be a part of our special day, not only tonight, but in a few days when I finally get to call Amelia my daughter." I hugged him close, tears pooling in my eyes.

"But there is one more thing that we would like to share with you." I looked up at him and Bella to find both their eyes were shining with happiness. They handed me a small gift bag.

"Open it," prodded Bella.

I pushed aside the colorful tissue paper to see a picture. It took me a while to figure out what it was, but when I saw the words, I screamed.

"Is this true?"

When they both nodded, I hugged them both before turning to the crowd and holding up the tiny picture.

"I'm going to be a big sister!" I clutched the sonogram picture where my baby sister or brother waved to me with the words "Hello Big Sister" in a thought bubble.

The crowd erupted into loud applause and exclamations of delight. But all I could focus on was the feeling of my life being complete. All I had ever wanted was to be part of a family once more and at that moment, my deepest Christmas wish came true.

**A/N: Awwww... soo sweet! Did ya like? If so... leave me some love!**

**I know.. its been forever since ya got a new story from me... BUT... I have some news! I will posting a new one soon! YAY! I'm hoping it can start in January some time.. its titled: Anything But Mine.. and if you're a fan of Kenny Chesney that name will sound familiar... and you would be correct. Its a fic based off that song. If your not familiar with it.. look up on youtube... the video gives me constant inspiration. Until then.. leave me some love!**


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